Let me just say that whatever that is written here, is not intended to harm or hurt anybody unless otherwise stated. But of course, the rantings are usually directed to a particular someone.

Either ways, I bear no responsibilities for any physical or emotional harm that you or anybody else have done to yourself, unless you are very dear to me. Otherwise, fat hope.

Please do not take my words to heart because more often than not, they were written on impulse to express my feelings and thoughts at that moment while I was in a certain state of mind. If you decide to take it to heart, then that is your problem. :)

I am very honest in my writings but at the same time, I will try not to mention any specifics or disclose any identity, that is related to any delicate information. If you decide to assume, then you're making an ass out of u and me.

Ultimately, this is my blog and this where I channel my inner thoughts, sentiments, temperaments, feelings etc etc. However, please do not think that just by reading my entries, you have understood me on a personal level because it is never that easy.

If, at any point of time you are offended or have any unpleasantries, feel free to contact me and we can discuss just what is bothering you.

Right, that should be about all for now. Hope I didn't piss anybody off. :D

Hi.

I absolutely love this page because it's like writing my own autobiography. It makes me feel like I'm some kind of a superstar, if you know what I mean.

The first time I saw light, and perhaps some strange people gathering around me with wide smiles on their faces (I don't remember any of it but I'd like to think that those people were happy to see me when I was born), was on a Friday in the auspicious year of 1984.

So all you other 1984-ers, you guys rock!

Hence, I will be am 23 this year.

I am a Singaporean-Malay but my line of heritage is of 3/4 Chinese and 1/4 Bugis. My mom is pure Chinese tho' she may not look like it and my dad is 50% Chinese and 50% Bugis. Ironically, my siblings and I got our 'cina' look from my dad, and not my mom.

We were brought up in a Malay-Muslim environment but I guess some of the Chinese traits never did leave us completely. I am neither inclined towards the Malay or the Chinese community. I am, somehow, sitting on the fence on this one. But I am proud of my mixed heritage and I embrace it; it's just that I don't make a good representative of either. Heh.

I am... very rojak indeed.

I got my fierce, straight-faced traits thanks to my dad's Bugis ascendants. FYI, the Bugis people are known to be acclaimed sea traders and legendary warriors from Indonesia. They're well-mannered but aggressive warriors, it seems.

"In historical European literature, the Bugis have a reputation for being fierce, war-like, and industrious. Honor, status, and rank are of great importance to the Bugis. They are a self-sufficient people who have a positive self-image and are very confident of their own abilities."
[source]

Now that explains.

In marriages meanwhile...

"The groom is blindfolded on the eve of the wedding and must find his bride among the women in the room. After the ceremony, he grabs her and brings her into the bridal chamber. This signifies the warrior instinct of the Bugis. This practice is still carried out today, especially among traditional families." [source]

Interesting but thankfully, we don't follow that tradition here. If he pick the wrong woman, how?!

Growing up, I had a difficult childhood. Sometimes, I surprise myself as to how I manage to pick myself up after every fall and every beating. I got a lot of attention and love but I also got a lot of trashings.

I was rebellious in a quiet, scheming kinda way. At the same time, I became very independant and daring. When I lost my way, I didn't cry but I found my way back home by myself.

School was a rough ride. Many bittersweet memories back then. And people do change. Most of us, for the better, thank goodness.

Fast forward, I am now an adult. With responsibilites and duties. When I look back, I am thankful for their beatings and for carving cane marks on my body, because if it weren't for their disciplinary actions, God knows what I would have become now...

So deep.

Anyway...! I had an affinity with IT since I was a lil girl, using MS DOS at that time but it fell through when I was in poly yr 2 because I didn't get into a specific course that I wanted to excel in. Then I joined an Engineering company, not because I was interested in it (everybody knows I hate flying) but I needed to get a job... any job. However, learning from my past mistakes, I finally decided to do what I'm really interested in and not because of what others want me to do. I trust that to be able to do well in something, you have to have an avid interest to be motivated and so now, I'm pursuing Psychology. This, I believe, is my true calling.

Very rojak right? That's me alright. That, and I also like to eat rojak - be it Indian or Chinese rojak, I like them both.

I have dreams. If only I'm Oprah. But I'm not.

You have to know me long enough, say at least 2-3 years, to understand my kind of humour. Otherwise, you may see it as sarcasm or may not even understand it at all. My sarcasm has since toned down by the way. Probably because I prefer to be more light-hearted about things nowadays.

At times, I like being reserved and I like the quietness of things. But other times, I can be sociable and love to laugh out loud as well. I am friendly... sometimes.

I can be super crappy and lame but I can also be easily pissed by idiotic people who does idiotic things to irritate other people. I would call these people morons.

And personally, I really despise pedophiles, racists and egoists. They make me sick.

I don't consider myself pretty nor ugly - just plain. I can be VERY boring if I want to but working here has made my life a living comedy sitcom. It's a love-hate relationship if I may say so.

Sleep is like a getaway holiday for me. I love it. I also love chocolates (of a certain kind), teh peng, penguins, stripes and balls (no pun intended). I love to pamper myself with good full body massages, good food or a good book. Oh and I also tend to get high on crabs, siput (snails), durians and mangoes. YUM!

I don't drink coffee. They give me major headaches.

I don't exercise. Only a few sit-ups every other night and occasional swimming, that's all. Don't expect me to do a full triathlon or climb a mountain. I will personally murder you.

I am not a materialistic person, and certainly not calculative. I tend to give more than what I could afford sometimes. Kids are my weaknesses. I can spend more on them than anybody else. Men who behave childishly does not count.

When it comes to social relations, I am hopeless. I rather run than make an effort. Funnily, there has been some crazy proposals but so far, no deal has been made. I believe in chemistry. I don't like it when they're too hasty. I feel it's only right that you get to know the person personally, not superficially.

So yes, I am single but I have no qualms about not being in a relationship.

I don't like crowds, but I don't mind shopping by myself. I'm weird that way.

Alas, I don't know how many times I've said this but PLEASE don't be deceived by my looks. I am not all that sweet or your girl-next-door. I can be quite rough, quite loud, quite nasty, quite blunt, quite ugly, quite silly, quite scary and quite fill-in-the-blanks...

But that's me.